I just finished reading Donald Miller’s latest book, “To Own a Dragon: Reflections on growing up without a father.” It was amazing! This book may not make sense to people who grew up with a great dad that lived at home with them. But if you grew up without a dad or in a divorced home where you only saw your dad on weekends, or less, then this book is hugely important to read.
The book hit closer to home that I am comfortable to admit. There were times when Don would write about his pain of not having a dad and it hit so close to me that I would break down and cry. He said things that I have never been able to fully articulate. When you grow up with a dad that isn’t interested, you begin to think God isn’t interested. I know it’s not true, but perception is reality.
The question I have struggled with my entire life is “why”? Why couldn’t my parents stay together? Why wouldn’t they fight for me, because your son needs both of his parents? It has been hard and it has led to me seeking approval from father figures my whole life. And it has always been a letdown. What I’m learning, is that it’s supposed to be a letdown. No one can replace that relationship. Maybe no one should. Maybe the pain I walk around with has a purpose…
Don writes, “And I had hear the term before: Wounded healer. Yet I had never applied the term to my life. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it, whether or not God calls specific people into the authority of empathy? Experience is, after all, the best education. We are the ones who wrestle with security, who will overcome our fear of intimacy, who will learn the hard task of staying with woman and our children, who will mentor others through the difficult journey of life, perhaps rescuing them from what we have been rescued.”
I think some people will read this book and not get it. I think others will laugh and weep at times as they turn the pages. This book is important. 5 stars!!!!!